The Quintessential Phase
Fit the Twenty-third
A Grebulon spaceship is damaged losing nearly all records of what it is and what it should be doing. Based on what little remains of their orders, the crew land on the tenth planet from the Sun, and start to monitor Earth. After a year's travelling Arthur has returned to the co-ordinates ZZ9 plural Z alpha - where he is expecting to find Earth, and perhaps Fenchurch. In its place, he finds a barely colonised planet called NowWhat. Seeking information, he is told that beings from a "plural" region are not advised to travel in hyperspace due to the risk of slipping in dimensions, but that he might find answers at Hawalius, a planet of oracles. There, he discovers that Trillian is now working as a reporter for the Siderial Daily Mentioner, travelling through both time and space to get news stories, effectively putting the soothsayers out of work. The parallel Tricia McMillan, an American who did not leave her Earth with Zaphod Beeblebrox, is a reporter on Earth. She concerned about a recently discovered planet Persephone (nicknamed Rupert) - the tenth planet from the sun. Meanwhile Zaphod is looking for Zarniwoop, convinced that he did not imagine his previous encounter with him. He finds Zarniwoop at the Guide's new offices. Ford has also made his way to the offices of the Hitchhiker's Guide. He reprogrammes a Security Robot, names it Colin, and discovers that the Guide has been taken over by a new company. He makes his way secretly to the editor's office, only to discover that he is expected.
Fit the Twenty-fourth
Arthur fails to find help on Hawalius; he leaves on a spaceship which malfunctions before it can jump into hyperspace, and plunges towards the nearest planet. The Grebulons invite Tricia McMillan to help them work out a system of astrology that would be valid on their planet, (Rupert), to which she agrees. At the Guide offices, Zarniwoop explains that there is a new Guide, aimed at families rather than hitchhikers; it will be a single copy which will be available transdimensionally. He offers Ford the job of restaurant critic, 'if the quota permits'. Ford steals Zarniwoop's Ident-i-Eze card, and hacks into the accounting system. He enters the artificial universe which had once existed in Zarniwoop's office, but which now takes up the basement level. He finds Zaphod, who has been imprisoned there by Zarniwoop. Zaphod reveals that Zarniwoop is in fact a Vogon, that the new Guide is built from the same software as the Total Perspective Vortex, existing simultaneously throughout the entirety of space and time - and that it will allow the Vogons to take control of the Galaxy. He insists that Ford must find the new Guide. Ford returns to Zarniwoop's office - and jumps from the window to escape the enraged editor.
Fit the Twenty-fifth
After his ship crashes, Arthur settles on the planet Lamuella, and becomes 'The Sandwich Maker'. His new life is interrupted by the arrival of another ship, bearing none other than Trillian and her daughter. Trillian explains that Arthur is the father - via sperm which he had donated to finance his intergalactic travel - and that she has come to leave their child, named 'Random', with him while she goes off to cover a war. Ford is saved by the intervention of Colin the Security Robot, and finds himself on the ledge of the 13th floor of the Guide offices. Inside is the Guide Mark II, looking rather like a bird. Back on Lamuella, a package arrives for Ford Prefect care of Arthur Dent, which Arthur decides to keep safely closed on the basis that anything that involves Ford Prefect is dangerous. Random, who is not settling in well, steals the package and runs off with it into a forest, which the natives of Lamuella believe to be haunted. She discovers that it is 'haunted' by the the holo-entertainment system from the ship that Arthur crash-landed in. She opens the package, revealing the Guide Mark II. The Guide explains that it can show her anything she wants, do anything she wants, and take her anywhere she wants. It shows her how the Earth exists in a plural zone, and shows her the parallel Tricia Macmillan on one version of the Earth. Believing that this is her mother, Random asks the Guide to take her there. It brings a spaceship, which happens to be piloted by Ford. Random knocks him out and escapes, leaving Ford to be discovered by Arthur.
Fit the Twenty-sixth
Ford tells Arthur about the new Guide, and explains that it was responsible for manipulating reality and bringing him to Lamuella. As Lamuella is bisected by a plural zone, Arthur and Ford realise that the Perfectly Normal Beasts, who appear at one end of a valley and disappear at the other, may be their ticket off the planet. They manage to mount one, and arrive at the 'Domain of the King', where they purchase a new ship from none other than Elvis. On the alternate Earth, Tricia McMillan has returned from Rupert, but discovers that she has no usable footage of her interplanetary trip. She is interrupted by a member of the hotel staff, who tells her that a spaceship has landed in Regent's Park, and that the young girl on the ship is demanding to see her. She confronts Random, as the Guide vanishes. Meanwhile on Rupert, the newly recalibrated astrology computers predicts a very bad month for the Grebulon leader. His problem seems to be the movement of the planet Earth, and he decides to test the astrological effectiveness of his gun turrets. As he does so, Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz orders the Guide to engage the Total Perspective Vortex. Arthur and Ford track Tricia and Random to a club, to find that Trillian has also arrived there. Random, utterly confused, is holding both Trillian and Tricia at gunpoint. Trillian has come to warn them that the war she was due to cover never happened, as the attack ship did not arrive but crashlanded on the outer planet of this Solar System, and is now about to destroy the Earth. Arthur believes he can't be about to die, as he has not yet been to Stavromula Beta, where he knows he will encounter Agrajag. A man attempts to take Random's gun, gets shot, and dies in Arthur's arms - Arthur is oddly reminded of Agrajag, as Trillian shows him a menu from the bar, with the name 'Stavro Müller Beta'. The Grebulon's particle beams crash into the planet...
In an epilogue, we learn that Babel fish are capable of shifting sideways in probability when needed, bringing their host and sometimes other people in the vicinity, with them, a trick they had apparently learnt from the dolphins. In the extended edition, there then follow three alternate possibilities. The first, continuing from the end of Fit the Twelfth, sees Arthur and Lintilla and several of her clones alone, save for Eddie, and happy on the starship Heart of Gold. The second goes back to the very start of Fit the First, with Arthur lying in front of the bulldozer about to knock down his house, and arguing with Mr Prosser. Fenchurch appears, and sides with Arthur. The third (and in the broadcast version, the only ending), finds Arthur, Ford, Random, Zaphod and a merged Tricia/Trillian in the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Fenchurch is waitressing at the Restaurant. She had an experience similar to Arthur's - from her perspective he had vanished from their liner. She has been waiting for him at Milliway's, and agrees to go travelling with Arthur once more. She brings a phone call for Zaphod, from Marvin, who has been working at the Restaurant for thousands of years (having discovered that his warranty hadn't run out), has had a promotion, and now has his own bucket. Zaphod tells him to give the Heart of Gold a hot wax.
